[Spoken by Srila Gurudeva on July 9th, 1997, in Holland, published as part of the Bhakta Bandhav Anthology, Volume 21]
Srila Gurudeva: You should try to call out in a way that Krsna may hear you and if He is not hearing you, then you should think, “He must hear me. He Govinda, He Gopala.” If you will do this alone, then you will see that tears are coming. If you are chanting to please the audience, tears will not come. But if you are alone or with devotees who truly don’t want anything, who are really calling out to Krsna, like the gopis, “He Govinda, He Gopala, Gopinatha”, then Krsna will appear at once. Once Narottama dasa Thakura was doing kirtana: “gauranga bolite habe pulaka sarira,” and after this when he began to sing one kirtana:
keno va achaye prana ki sukha paiya
narottama dasa keno na gelo mariya
-Gaura Pahu Na Bhajiya Mainu verse 5
[For what type of pleasure do I maintain my life? I try to satisfy my hunger and thirst but whatever I eat and drink gets caught in my throat. Coughing and choking, I thus remain hungry and thirsty.” Narottama dasa laments, “Why do I not simply die?”]
“I have spent my whole life uselessly, no use. I have only collected some poisons here and there, always.” What are those poisons? “Wealth, reputation and all these things are the poison that I have collected. I never tried for krsna-prema. I never went to any devotees, ‘Oh, help me! Krsna-prema, I want krsna-prema.’ Why am I living? Why am I not dying? It is a very strange thing that even now I am not dying. I want to die if I cannot chant or remember Krsna. Krsna is not pleased, Caitanya Mahaprabhu is not pleased. I am not chanting and remembering, my heart is not melting. My heart is so hard, more than iron. I want that mt heart should melt, but it will not, so I want to die. But I am worried that I am not dying.”
So we should be doing kirtana for Krsna, “O Krsna, O Govinda, You should come. Help me.” If your heart is melting then you will see, “Oh, this is bona-fide.” It will help others and also you. When we sing anything, we should be absorbed in that, knowing the meaning of that kirtana. We should realize the meaning and try to follow. We should try to practice sincerely. Otherwise, we will be engaged in all these worldly things. If we are chanting, “Hari haraye nama krsna yadavaya namah,” then we should chant like this and know the meaning. We should always try to develop our Krsna consciousness. Problems may come, they should come, no harm. Left or right, no harm. But if devotion is gone, everything is gone. But if devotion is there, all types of problems may come, no harm. You can pray like the Pandavas and Kunti have prayed. Think that I am always amidst you, always helping you. You should always remember Caitanya Mahaprabhu, Nityananda, Rupa, Sanatana and all others. Always remember Radha and Krsna, daily.