na dhanaṁ na janaṁ na sundarīṁ
kavitāṁ vā jagadīśa kāmaye
mama janmani janmanīśvare
bhavatād bhaktir ahaitukī tvayi
O Jagadisa, I do not desire wealth, nor followers, nor do I desire beautiful poetry (here meaning expertise in jnana). O pranesvara, my only desire is to have unalloyed devotion unto Your lotus feet birth after birth.
What Do You Pray For?
“When will that day come when I require or desire nothing else other than bhagavat-bhakti?” In order to bestow this mood upon us, the Siksastakam appeared in this world. This astakam is not only our life and soul, it is the pure and loving advice of Krsna’s nearest and dearest Vraja-devis.
Sri Guru teaches us everything, but if we misuse what he has taught us, then everything will go down the drain. Do bhajana in the association of the Vaisnavas, but be careful not to pray for the fulfillment of independent desires like dhana, jana, sundari, and kavita.
If we are following pure bhakti, we will not pray to Krsna for the attainment of heaven, nor for liberation, what to speak of wealth, followers, scholasticism, beautiful women, prestige, and so on. If we take these things from Krsna, then Bhakti-devi will quickly leave.
bhukti-mukti-spṛhā yāvat piśācī hṛdi vartate
tāvad bhakti-sukhasyātra katham abhyudayo bhavet
Bhakti-rasāmṛta-sindhu 1.2.22
As long as the two witches of desire for material enjoyment and liberation remain within the heart of the sadhaka, how can the happiness of pure bhakti be awakened there?
What do people do with their wealth and health? There was a lady who lived together with her husband in a jungle village. One day, a mongoose came to their residence and the couple made a very sweet relationship with him. The mongoose slept, ate, and played with them, and the couple took care of him as if he was their own child. Why did they create such a friendship? Because the jungle is full of snakes, but these snakes never go to a place where a mongoose stays.
Some time later, the lady gave birth to a baby. One day, she went to get water and asked the mongoose to take care of the baby. Due to the ladies love for the mongoose, he understood her request. Love and language are the same thing. If there is no love, then it cannot be called language. Love alone can express the message.
While the lady was going to get water, a big and dangerous snake came to their house. The mongoose fought with the snake and ripped it into pieces. The mongoose became very happy afterwards because he was able to protect the baby. As soon as the mother came back from getting water, the mongoose ran to her, shaking his tail and showing his bloody mouth so that she could understand that he killed a snake.
But the lady did not understand and thought that the mongoose killed her son. She became very angry, took a stick, and beat the mongoose to death. Then she ran inside the room where she saw her uninjured baby and a dead snake. She understood everything and called out, “Alas, alas, what did I do!”
The mongoose was fighting and fighting, and killed and cut the snake into ten or twenty pieces. Then he was very happy, thinking, “I protected the baby.” Unfortunately, the lady misunderstood the situation, and without thinking she performed an action that she could not undo.
If you are uncontrolled and have no tolerance and patience, and whatever you do will lead to a bad result. Before doing anything you should first think about what you are going to do.
Once there was a small bird named Tuntuni that went in search of food and found a gold coin. He picked it up and kept it in his nest. He later went to the king and said, “O my dear king, you are not the only one who has gold coins in his treasury. I also have some and therefore we both are kings.”
Upon hearing this, the king became angry and ordered his ministers, “Catch and kill this bird.” But the bird was so small that it was impossible for them to catch him, and he escaped. The king then sent his servants to find the bird’s nest and they stole the gold coin.
When the bird came to know of his coin being stolen, he went back to the king’s palace, and said in an insulting manner, “Oh, the king is very miserly. He does not like anyone else to have wealth. Therefore this greedy thief stole my coin.”
When the king heard this, he said, “This bird is ignorant. I only took back what was already mine.” Speaking thus, the king took out his sword and ran after the bird. Being very tiny, the bird had no difficulty dodging the king’s blows, and as he was doing this he kept insulting the king.
The king became so angry that he threw his sword at the bird who was just above him. But instead of hitting the bird, the sword came straight back to the king and cut off his nose. The bird said, “This is the deserved punishment for stealing my coin.” The king was unable to continue the fight and thus ordered his servants, “Catch this bird and bring it to me alive. I want to kill him with my own hands and then eat him.”
All the wars and fights in this world are fought only for dana, jana, sundari, and kavita. If people understand that these things belong to Krsna and that independently stealing them results in only fighting, such a person can live happily in peace. We see many greedy people come to Guru and Vaisnavas claiming to be their sevakas, but the only thing they are concerned about is how to collect dollars and pounds.
How to Pray
How many people come to Gurudeva actually desiring his transcendental blessings, to hear hari-katha, and to enter into rupanuga-bhakti? Many only desire dana, jana, sundari, and kavita, and therefore their hearts remain as hard as rocks. Externally they may show devotion to attract followers, but their hearts are hard as rocks, and dry as deserts.
tad aśma-sāraṁ hṛdayaṁ batedaṁ
yad gṛhyamāṇair hari-nāma-dheyaiḥ
na vikriyetātha yadā vikāro
netre jalaṁ gātra-ruheṣu harṣaḥ
Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 2.3.24
Certainly that heart is steel-framed which, in spite of one’s chanting the holy name is not transformed. When such transformation does take place, tears fill the eyes and the hairs stand on end.
We should pray, “O Prabhu, everything I possess is truly Yours! Please take away any sense of possession from my heart!” If we steal Krsna’s property and use it independently for our own enjoyment, then we will lose everything. But if we respect these things, knowing them to be Krsna’s property and use them in His service, then we will advance in bhakti without any difficulty in our lives.
To be trnad-api-sunicena seems to be very hard, to be taroh-api-sahisnuna seems even harder, and to follow amanina manadena seems to be impossible, what to speak of kirtaniya sada hari. But these qualities will come in due course to the sadhaka by training and practicing to implement them in his life. But then, we must still give up all desire for dana, jana, kavita, and sundari. If we are greedy to use them for our own enjoyment, we will lose everything.
Lord Brahma prayed, “How did my intelligence become so bewildered to the point that I stole Krsna’s calves and sakhas?” He thought, “It is because I considered the entire universe to be mine.”
After realizing his mistake, Brahma prayed:
tad astu me nātha sa bhūri-bhāgo
bhave ’tra vānyatra tu vā tiraścām
yenāham eko ’pi bhavaj-janānāṁ
bhūtvā niṣeve tava pāda-pallavam
Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 10.14.30
O Bhagavan, may I be so fortunate as to attain the association of Your devotees and, under their guidance, obtain service to Your lotus feet; be it in this or any other human birth, or in a birth such as an animal, bird, worm or moth.
Lord Brahma said, “O my dear Lord, I have now learned my lesson, so please do not send me away. I do not mind taking birth as a germ, insect, animal, male, or female, but please let me stay with your devotees who will teach, purify, and save me. Apart from them, I have no protection.”
People make others their servants by giving them wealth and property, dana, and jana. If we accept this, we will have to work for them like a machine, and lose our love and attachment for chanting the holy name, and service to Krsna. But if we follow bhakti, bhakti us to a loving relationship with Krsna, bhakti enables us to see Krsna. Krsna can even be controlled by bhakti.
bhaktir evainaṁ nayati bhaktir evainaṁ darśayati
bhakti-vaśaḥ puruṣo bhaktir eva bhūyasī
Caitanya-Bhāgavat, Ādi-khaṇḍa 13.197
Srila Gaura-kisora dasa Babaji Maharaja taught the process of development in raga-bhakti step-by-step. He taught how to do bhajana, how to weep and pray, and how to be present and roll in the dust of Vraja. He sang:
koṭhāya go premamayī rādhe! rādhe!
tomār kāṅgāl tomāy ḍāke rādhe rādhe!
(gosāī) ekbār ḍāke keśīghāṭe
ābār ḍāke vaṁśīvaṭe
(gosāī) malin basan diye gāya
vrajer dhūlāya gaḍāgaḍī jāya rādhe rādhe
(gosāī) ekbār ḍāke tālavane
ābār ḍāke tamāla vane rādhe rādhe
(gosāī) ekbār ḍāke kusumvane
ābār ḍāke govardhane rādhe rādhe
koṭhāya go premamayī rādhe! rādhe!
Rolling in the dust of Vraja, Gaur-kisora dasa Babaji Maharaja prayed like this continuously.
Babaji Maharaja wept and called out, “Kothaya go premamayi radhe! radhe! Where are you my dear Radhe? Deka diya prana rakho radhe radhe! O Radharani, please give me Your darsana.” The sadhaka should always pray for that moment to come when he will be able cry experiencing these moods.
When will we pray, like an orphan, crying out for Srimati Radharani’s mercy and help? If you have so many worldly possessions and do not renounce them, then how can Gurudeva give you this mood? We are like a homeless person who collects garbage from the street and keeps it in different bags and carries them on his body. Life is too short to waste time doing this. When will this realization come? Once we realize this, we will go to Vrndavana like Gaura-kisora dasa Babaji, and weep and pray, “kothaya go premamayi radhe! radhe! tomara kangala tomara dakhe, radhe radhe! I am only Yours, I do not belong to any other!” This is called relationship.
If we pray like this, will Srimati give us ordinary things in order to get rid of us? No, She is very merciful and never kicks out anyone. She is very kind.
Babaji Maharaja gave that wealth of prayer to Prabhupada Sarasvati Thakura. Even Krsna cried and rolled in the dust of Vraja.
Dana, jana, kavita, and sundari are given by the demigods. They are material. People worship the demigods for material attainments, which act like poison to the soul. But real sadhus do not give these things, even if people approach them to fulfill such desires. Rather the sadhus destroy these material desires.
tato duḥsaṅgam utsṛjya
satsu sajjeta buddhimān
śānta evāsya cchindanti
mano-vyāsaṅgam uktibhiḥ
Śrīmad-Bhāgavatam 11.26.26
Saintly people can, by their powerful speech, completely cut asunder all the unfavorable attachments of the mind.
With their speech, the sadhus cut all your desires, purify you, and give you entrance into Krsna’s service. Without sadhu-sanga, it is impossible to realize these verses.
We should endeavor to become purified and then meet with Sri Guru-pada-padma, and make a relation with the Vrajavasis and the Vraja-devis. Do not waste this life. There is no guarantee what will happen in our next life, especially if we take asat-sanga. But if you do not waste time, you will very soon be related to the Vrajavasis. This is my only desire. By following this path sincerely, we can progress steadily upon the path of bhakti.
[CC-by-NDNC Bhakta Bandhav]